Saturday, September 5, 2009

A Tale for Texas Children

When the Texas schools decided to protect their students from the President's seditious teachings about responsibility and hard work, they offered readings of fairy tales instead.
This is one of them (translation from the original Algonquian Arapaho dialect by Ann White Feather):

A giant came into the forest and began to harvest all the walnuts. Soon, squirrels were starving.
The surviving squirrels summoned a council and elected one of their number, Bushy Tail, to appeal to the forest gods.
"Only you are powerful enough to control this giant," Bushy Tail told the gods. "Please save some walnuts for us to eat."
"The nut market regulates itself," the chief god said. "Stop whimpering."
And so all the squirrels in the forest died.
Another giant appeared in the forest and began to take all the berries and honey. Soon the bears were starving.
The bears summoned a council and elected one of their number, Smokey, to journey to the forest gods and appeal to them for succor.
"Only you are powerful enough to regulate this giant," Smokey said, "and save some berries and honey for us to eat."
"Sorry," said the chief god, "but it's not a bear market. Stop whimpering."
Soon all the bears in the forest were dead of starvation.
Another giant came into the forest. This giant dug up the bushes and small trees and sold them to landscapers in Las Vegas. Soon the deer were starving.
The surviving deer summoned a council and elected Bambi to appeal to the forest gods on their behalf.
"Only you are powerful enough to stop this giant," Bambi told the gods. "Please save some forage for us to eat."
"That would make you a welfare queen," the chief god told Bambi. "Stop whimpering."
Soon all the deer in the forest were dead.
Another giant came into the forest. Before this giant could decide what to take from the remaining resources of the forest, the surviving animals and birds and insects held a council.
"Let us organize," said Bobcat. "Yes," said Beaver, "together we can protect everyone's food supply and force the giants to go elsewhere." And so they formed a union.
When the giant went to harvest walnuts, Eagle clawed at him and Woodpecker drummed a Gene Krupa riff on his skull while Groundhog gnawed on his anklebone. So the giant left the walnut trees alone and went to harvest berries and honey. But the bees stung him and Skunk sprayed him and Turtle gummed him a wicked one on the great toe.
The giant appealed to the forest gods. "The animals formed a union and now they're stinging me, biting me, pecking me, clawing me and otherwise preventing me from pillaging the forest resources."
"This is socialism," the chief god decreed. "It must stop."
The giant summoned other giants and they took what they pleased from the forest.
All the birds and animals and insects of the forest died.
The giants called a meeting on the mountaintop and threw a grand old party.
"I've got more walnuts than any giant in the history of the world," the first giant declared.
"My supply of berries and honey is so large that I can charge any price that I want for them," the second giant said.
"I've got the last remaining green things in the world," said the third giant.
When the party was over, the first giant, gorged on walnuts, began to suffer the worst symptoms of dyspepsia. Being near him was so unpleasant that the other giants shunned him.
The second giant tried to sell his berries and honey for a great deal of money, but there was no one to buy them.
The third giant had no place to plant his greenery, so it withered and died.
The giants asked the gods for help.
"Your walnuts are moldy," the chief god said, "your berries are rotten, your honey is stale and your plants have died. Why should we save you?"
"Because we're too big to fail," the giants said.
"OK," the chief god said. "Restore the forest to the way it was when you found it and you can have anything you want."
The giants agreed. By now they were very weak and hungry, but they stumbled down the mountain and made their way to the forest.
"What now?" asked one of the giants.
And that's when they realized they only knew how to take. They hadn't the foggiest notion how to give back.

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